My Cancer Story - Spoken Word

it’s interesting I’m here

but would you be willing to share

the same statement no testimony

that you’re going to hear

life for me easy and boring

filled with lies and hate

and yet I tought grace

don’t get me wrong I chose to follow

when my heart was hollow

worship in church

oh, yea I lead it

but would you believe

that I might have not meant it

before the diagnosis

yea a little hard to say

I lost my playing

that was a blow without saying

that now I couldn’t walk

unless into walls

my walking going

no, my right-side depleting

medulloblastoma

isn’t that a big word

into the hotel

lying next to a tree

only the reality was it was hooked to me

one piece they took

thought they'd take bigger

but if they did

I might not be here

so, the plans then clear

radiation then chemo

wow nice combo

only I didn’t know

what I was getting into

radiation step one

get fitted

lay on stomach

get lined up and hold

the mold dried

I almost cried

radiation step two

put into the room

now it was time for treatments themselves

laying on my stomach

but now I’m strapped down

claustrophobic I wasn’t

but by this I would have been

1 to 1.5 hours at minimum per day

only to start the same thing the next day

this kept up for 2-4 months

the burns alone drove me nuts

once done with this

wow what a relief

little did I know

the hardest is before me

chemo every week

4 weeks at a time

then I got a 2 week break

but back in no time

sicker than I had ever been

energy sapped

my body ached

you know I couldn’t even keep down the ribeye or steak

boy I wish I died

but better I didn’t

for now I can tell you

how God's in me

one night still puking

crying so lightly

I cried out

to show me you’re with me

with then my dad laying by me

turned on a song

God held me tightly

dad didn’t hear

what I prayed just then

but something told him

that song just then

see hundreds of songs on that one play list

but only one flick

and the song he clicked

God showed me my answer

no, his answer

I have more plans with you

now suck it up and listen

hurt you may be but others do matter

because now you have a big purpose

to share this answer

not exactly what was said but you get the meaning

that God told me

to not just whimper

on my home stretch to go

a guitar from a girl

with her mom like me

getting treatment and poison

sang songs of praise

Gosh I almost cried in his grace

God is unseen

but truly we can see

I now know how

to walk by my faith