it’s interesting I’m here
but would you be willing to share
the same statement no testimony
that you’re going to hear
life for me easy and boring
filled with lies and hate
and yet I tought grace
don’t get me wrong I chose to follow
when my heart was hollow
worship in church
oh, yea I lead it
but would you believe
that I might have not meant it
before the diagnosis
yea a little hard to say
I lost my playing
that was a blow without saying
that now I couldn’t walk
unless into walls
my walking going
no, my right-side depleting
medulloblastoma
isn’t that a big word
into the hotel
lying next to a tree
only the reality was it was hooked to me
one piece they took
thought they'd take bigger
but if they did
I might not be here
so, the plans then clear
radiation then chemo
wow nice combo
only I didn’t know
what I was getting into
radiation step one
get fitted
lay on stomach
get lined up and hold
the mold dried
I almost cried
radiation step two
put into the room
now it was time for treatments themselves
laying on my stomach
but now I’m strapped down
claustrophobic I wasn’t
but by this I would have been
1 to 1.5 hours at minimum per day
only to start the same thing the next day
this kept up for 2-4 months
the burns alone drove me nuts
once done with this
wow what a relief
little did I know
the hardest is before me
chemo every week
4 weeks at a time
then I got a 2 week break
but back in no time
sicker than I had ever been
energy sapped
my body ached
you know I couldn’t even keep down the ribeye or steak
boy I wish I died
but better I didn’t
for now I can tell you
how God's in me
one night still puking
crying so lightly
I cried out
to show me you’re with me
with then my dad laying by me
turned on a song
God held me tightly
dad didn’t hear
what I prayed just then
but something told him
that song just then
see hundreds of songs on that one play list
but only one flick
and the song he clicked
God showed me my answer
no, his answer
I have more plans with you
now suck it up and listen
hurt you may be but others do matter
because now you have a big purpose
to share this answer
not exactly what was said but you get the meaning
that God told me
to not just whimper
on my home stretch to go
a guitar from a girl
with her mom like me
getting treatment and poison
sang songs of praise
Gosh I almost cried in his grace
God is unseen
but truly we can see
I now know how
to walk by my faith